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Dis-Patches
Henry is the Patch cat and considers himself a feline of exquisite taste.


Henry the Hen-Pecked
Greetings. You were planning on obtaining the services of an assistant barn cat, correct? I have been faithfully persisting in my Patch...


Henry the Peeved
Greetings. As an addendum to my previous missive regarding “chase,” it is with significant irritation that I must report an uptick in...


Henry the Perplexed
Greetings. I write to share my thoughts on a recently observed Patch phenomenon. Let me explain… Brigid the Darting Dog frequently...


Henry the Enforcer
Greetings to you and yours in these halcyon days. I’ve been luxuriating in the spring warmth and testing out a selection of additional...


Henry the Hopeful
Greetings. I write to confirm the substance of a conversation I overheard between you and that other Feeder (the one who NEVER fills my...


Henry the Ambitious
Henry and Brigid. Greetings. I must ask: How many more animals will there be? Seasoned Patch residents such as myself have seen the...


Henry the Harried
Henry in sulking recovery from his goose encounter. I’ve no time for greetings, or even complex sentences. The geese are now attacking....


Henry the Heroic
Henry and his rather empty feed bowl. Greetings. I write in a state of agitation. Let me remind you that my responsibilities as Patch...


Henry the Besieged
Greetings. How fortunate that I am able to set paw to paper. The Patch has become so noisy that any attempt at vocal communication is...


Henry the Triumphant
Greetings. The lives of most dedicated public servants such as myself can be lacking in tangible accomplishment. Thus, it is with great...


Henry the Dismayed
Greetings. While the building of linguistic bridges can generate mutual understanding, I have discovered that knowledge of another’s...


Henry the Huffy
I will once again dispense with my customary greeting, as I have yet another a matter of great import to bring to your attention. There...


Henry the Agitated
Greetings. I shall dispense with ritualistic exchanges and cut to the chase, to use a relevant turn of phrase: What were you thinking?!...


Henry the Philosopher
Greetings. Henry here, as usual. I’ve come upon a most delightful synchronicity. Did you know that pigs spend nearly as much time as...


Henry the Weary
Greetings. As I labor for the common good, the reduction in time available for napping remains foremost in my mind. This is a sacrifice...


Henry the Overworked
Greetings. Like humans who perform multiple jobs, I, too, struggle to juggle my varied responsibilities. As a cat of class and...


Henry the Conflict-Averse
Greetings. It is with regret that I write to inform you of unrest at the Patch. As I gain fluency in the intricacies of chicken...


Henry the Self-Satisfied
Henry, moving at his typical pace. Greetings. I write in haste. A deputized cadre of chickens has initiated contact with me, asking...


Henry the Underappreciated
Henry, surveying his domain. Greetings. Pudge asked me to relay the following directly to you as Feeder: “Heya. Henry does not want...


Henry the Linguist
Henry, feeling a bit perturbed. Greetings. As I feared, Pudge’s situation has not been satisfactorily remedied. He struggles to make...


Henry the Cat
Henry the Cat Greetings. Henry, here. This letter may come as a surprise as I felt it inopportune to contact you previously. I am a...
Dis-Patche Anchor
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