Greetings.
I shall dispense with ritualistic exchanges and cut to the chase, to use a relevant turn of phrase: What were you thinking?! Of all things – and I choose the word “things” intentionally – a dog?! And not even an appropriately-sized terrier or toy poodle, but a mutt of such elephantine size and the insatiable desire to “play”?!
I have long viewed the seemingly obtuse choices made by Feeders with perplexity, but the dog’s arrival surprises even this jaded feline. In the farmstead ecosystem of reciprocal alliances and mutual productivity, where every creature works to support the whole, what possible function could a dog perform?!
I am working to rectify your reckless decision to add a canine to the fully functional – at least up until this point – relational ecosystem at the Patch, and beg your immediate explanation of the rationale behind Marge’s presence, as well as your plans for her Patch future. To speak frankly, it rests on you to ameliorate the negative impacts of her rambunctious gallops across the barnyard.
While you did not consult myself or other Patch residents before Marge’s arrival, I nevertheless urge you to remedy your error by engaging in multiple demonstrative peaceful overtures to existing Patch inhabitants. Additional feedings would be a good place to start.
I look for your swift and apologetic reply, as my loyalty to the Patch organization is in serious jeopardy.
In agitation,
Henry
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