Greetings.
Despite my commitment to cross-species understanding, the Feeder calendar with its year-end well into the cold and dark season leaves me scratching my head, as you Feeders would say. (The feline phrase “leaves one twitching one’s tail” communicates a more nuanced confusion borne of frustration, but has yet to be used widely by those outside of the cat community.) Out of deference to your shortsighted construct of time, I present here a reflection on my efforts over the past twelve-month interval as defined by chronologically-bound Feeders.
I initiated the Patch Translation Project just over a year ago, and have, to date, established contact and recorded perceptions of the four members of the porcine species in residence – Pudge, Jorge, Wilma, and Mona. Pigs remain the most fruitful of my linguistic subjects, and I anticipate significant research findings as I move forward with this work. The Head Hen has been my main interlocutor as I seek to document the complexities of chicken communication, an endeavor with much linguistic potential. My conversations with Meg and Marge are ongoing, though of a distressingly poor quality (see Henry the Hounded). Finally, in order to preserve my hearing, I am attempting long-distance dialogue with the geese, but thus far my efforts have resulted in one-way communication only. The geese insist on directing cacophonous vocalizations in my direction but appear to have no interest in listening. Perhaps I should ask the Head Hen to correct them in this regard.
I know you regret your initial disinterest in my linguistic efforts and now see your error in failing to enthusiastically support the Patch Translation Project. As this year-end report demonstrates, my accomplishments in this arena can be considered a linguistic triumph, and I accept your gratitude without acrimony or recrimination.
While the bulk of my efforts this year revolved around the Patch Translation Project, that in no way diminishes the collaborative success of Pudge and myself in the first annual PAPSE (Party at the Patch Storytelling Extravaganza). Most participants from this year are planning to attend in the future, and Pudge and I will be devoting significant conversational time (and some companionable napping) in the months ahead to expanding and improving the festival’s content and structure.
I have performed the initial research necessary for basic emu communication (see Henry the Compulsive) and await notification from you as to their imminent arrival. Emus are coming, correct?
By way of conclusion, I will reiterate my frequent requests for mouse patrol assistance, as well as expanded rations. I have invested great effort in Patch pursuits, and the poor quality and minimal quantity of my food remains unchanged. I am told that Feeders celebrate this time of year with generosity and abundance. I remain a worthy recipient.
In hopeful service,
Henry
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