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Henry the Heroic (13)


One of Henry's "heated couch" positions.

Greetings.

 

A status update on several pending matters:

 

My responsibilities as Patch Barn Cat remain far more extensive than one feline can reasonably perform. Please refer to my previous missive (Henry the Sleepy, #7) to see my official request for an assistant at the Patch. This request is all the more pressing as the warmer weather and subsequent removal of the pile of hoses in the greenhouse has revealed an active nest of mice. I will be observing said mice periodically and will craft a partial extermination plan. Be advised that full extermination is not the goal or responsibility of farm cats, as a total absence of mice would make us less valuable and at the mercy of fickle Feeders.

 

My continued exclusion from the heated pumphouse has been ameliorated by my regular admittance to the heated couch in the Feeder dwelling. Please remember that I expect those accommodations to be made ready at precisely 5:30 am. I have been communicating my arrival at the front door for admittance with repetitive meows, but it appears that the Feeder is not responding with the necessary alacrity. I expect prompt admittance in the future.

 

The level of my feed bowl has not yet been restored. Thus, I conclude that the unfortunate rationing regime is still in place. For your information, I have been supplementing my grotesquely limited calories by regularly ingesting No-Meg’s food, as well as sampling the chicken broth and raw eggs she occasionally receives. Thus, my current caloric intake has actually increased, as have your feeding costs. Might it not be a more efficient use of resources to return me to the previous free-feeding routine?

 

Despite my unseemly relocation out of the heated pumphouse, I continue to serve the Patch and its residents, albeit with somewhat wounded pride. Do be aware that I am considering other career options and will gladly accept a position for Resident Farm Cat at a different location if legitimate offers are made. Recent developments have made me acutely aware of the necessity of considering my own needs first.

 

Even with my change in circumstances, I continue to deliver feline services of the highest order and remain proud of the work I perform, even though much of it occurs under less-than-optimal conditions.

 

With consternation,

 

Henry

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